Facing the Wave

From Beach 1, near the mouth of the Quileute River

This last week has afforded Peony and I a few days to step away from the normal rhythm of life at the Ashram. That is, daily group meditation, regular morning chores, breakfast prep and check-ins, a constant stream of communication and of tuning into the whole: what and where are the needs of today, and how shall we carry them out as a team? How are folks doing, and what can we do to take our positive steps today? 

To step away from the shared, monastic rhythm is in some ways very liberating. Yet in others, it leaves a notable void, in aspiring to remain clear in the moment to moment attunement of seva and sadhana. This creates both a wonderful opportunity for God to arrive in new and unexpected ways, as well as a window for new expectations or desires to surface. Something to be careful with!

For the last few days, I have found myself sitting in a now familiar spot - in a plush recliner, looking through very large picture windows from an oceanside cabin in La Push, Washington, on the Quileute Reservation. It’s a scene which seems to transform moment to moment, with fast-moving clouds, wind and rain, accompanied by tremendous bursts of light when the sun does powerfully break through.

Carried with me during this time, and in the now-aftermath of the Holy Christmas season, is a perpetual longing for His company and inner revelation. To simply close my eyes and be lifted up in his Light, and for all burdens, duties, and any lingering doubts, to be lifted, that I may simply know only Him. 

Yet, it seems that at times those expectations aren't exactly met in the way I would have hoped.

The intention to release the daily duties and activities of this life, and simply rest in Him…. is often met instead, with a constant and even expanding awareness, of what next is to be done. As if right upon entering the blessed moment of the emptying of this self and the world, He thrusts forth a fresh remembrance, or new idea altogether. At times, enough to cause inward flailing in hopes of sending it back! Perhaps I imagined somehow the purpose of the trip was to get away, to let go of everything, and seek simple, quiet inner communion alone.

And yet, here in the remote, rugged wild country of the Washington Coast in January, I find these very thoughts turned upside down; I'm here not to escape, but to rather face every aspect of this life. My self asks mySelf, in my best sister Shanti voice, “How this even can be?” All the way out here, in this timeless wilderness of record rainfall, short days and massive wind, with remembrances and tasks coming into mind at every turn. Without any further explanation, it could seem a grave disappointment.

And yet, an interesting thing happens when I stop resisting these things which naturally surface in the empty mind of brother zachary. As I turn to face each thing of the seemingly mundane 'to-do list' of life, I feel an actual sense of inspiration; of Joy. Far from taking me away from God’s presence, it seems that when I become still to seek Him, he turns me to face the very tasks for this day; not out of attachment or desires for the tasks by and of myself, but out of the joy of being His simple and willing servant.

As I type this now, seed orders for the 2026 growing season are largely complete; the spring schedule of events, gardens tours and plant sales has been established; writing in my journal has resumed, for the first time since Thanksgiving, to document the inner and outer workings of His presence; a review of the websites for both the Farm-Ashram, and Cross and Lotus, to make the former more abundant and whole in its offerings, and the latter, more user friendly and simple in its presentation. These are a few examples. 

The point in all this is simple and significant enough, that I hope this little mind will hold onto it. Far from running away or escaping this life, the choice to step away from the ordinary offers the opportunity to become still in the Self, that we may face our life anew, in the right spirit and with highest good of all in mind.

What are the needs of the whole, and how can we address them? How can we better serve and give to our neighbors and friends? What is Your Plan for us Lord, and what steps can I take today? Though certainly there is much to be said about renunciation in this world - especially as we still learn discrimination for that which is true, and that which isn't - in the ultimate sense, this life isn’t about escaping it to get to God; it’s about embracing it, surrendering it fully to God, and receiving Him in every aspect of it. For each of us, this has special meaning and purpose. 

—--

Two days ago, as Peony and I reentered our cottage after a walk by the sea, we were taken aback to see out the front window two boats not far off the beach in the midst of huge swells and crashing waves. For around 20 minutes they remained in this spot, directly in front of our view. Each time a huge wave would come, the boats noses would be lifted straight up into the sky, before reversing course, tipping back down and crashing seemingly head first on the backside of the wave. Every time it bounced back just fine, albeit with a notable flare for the dramatic.

Atop the two vessels, clearly visible, was a huddle of bobbing human-heads standing atop the decks, presumably holding on with a bulldog grip to anything that could keep them attached to the boat! I looked on in wonder at how none of them were lifted and tossed from the ship, despite the incredible soaring ups, and crashing downs. 

Why on earth aren’t they getting out of there, I wondered. Then after the impact of many dozens of huge waves, one of the vessels finally began to motor out of the combat zone at high speed, followed quickly by the other. No issues with their engines, I concluded; they must have been out there by choice!? They headed towards the northern part of the beach, where they turned the corner of the mouth of Quileute river, and headed into port along the river-estuary. Were they just playing the whole time? Maybe a friendly game of 'chicken' at sea?

As I reflected on the unexpected scene, one quality of the two ships has given pause for reflection - that is, in the whole process of riding those waves, both ships remained in a position of being pretty well squared up to the breaking wave itself. Meaning, they never at any point turned away from the wave. Even as this meant being pointed up in the air, and then back down into the water, the ship always re-pointed itself again at the wave, preparing to ride up the next wave in the same dramatic fashion.

Certainly, these Seaman were very capable of getting out of the waves altogether as they revealed when they finally motored away at high speed. And yet, wave after wave came, and they continued to ride them, never turning away from them, and always facing them head on.

Surely, there is a lesson in this for all of us. To turn across a breaking wave would likely only mean getting pummeled and taken asunder. I've at least been body-surfing enough to know that. These sea-faring fellows opted to hit it straight on instead.

For us, the inevitable big waves of life are ensured; we needn’t seek them out. 

And for every day of calm on the Sea of life, there will be a day of crashing waves. 

Yet whether we can choose to turn and face the wave with openness to navigating it, or we seek to turn away and try to run from it, will determine whether we ride it with grace and joy, or it takes us under. 

When I think about my own time this week, and the unexpected waves of things to do - or better yet, things which must be faced! - I realize Grace granting the opportunity to hang in there, and face the coming waves of this year. 

By taking them on, one at a time, it's wonderful to find that far from being burdened or taken away from Sadhana, He has been directing and inspiring it, in the most practical and purposeful ways for this moment. In the acceptance of His Will, and willingness to do my own part in that, I find all the peace, all the joy of this moment anew, in Him. 

May this be a reminder to us all, for 2026, that we needn’t try to escape the waves of this human life to find God; we need only to realize Him as the maker of them all, and that to face the wave that arrives today, is to ride each one with acceptance and harmony with He who sent it. 

Our Abode from 1/5-1/10/26